boo·mer·ang

noun

1. 1.

   a curved flat piece of wood that can be thrown so as to return to the thrower, traditionally used by Australian Aborigines as a hunting weapon.

verb

1. 1.

   to come back or return, as a boomerang.

I feel pretty clever here. The title of this blog entry is called boomerangs. It represents many things in my life right now. The title is also is an apt description of my return to posting (however infrequent) updates to this blog. But I think there are some things that I need to talk about with my life. I don't know who will read this, but if you do, I hope this provides encouragement in your life.

To Come Back or Return

I'm going to come back to the story of my life. It's my blog, I feel as if I can be a little selfish as I describe the events that transpired in my life since May the 22, 2013. For the sake of sanity (and my forgetful memory), I'm just going to state that my life from 2013 to May 2015 revolved around the toughness of Georgia Tech. I made some really good friends during my senior year, came in third on an aircraft design competition with some of these friends (press release is here: https://www.aiaa.org/SecondaryTwoColumn.aspx?id=29905), and actually survived one of the hardest school years of my life.

But then came graduation. I WAS FREE! I SURVIVED TECH! I HAVE MY LIFE BACK!

Initially it was fantastic. I was excited to be done with my undergrad. I was part of those who managed to "get out" of Georgia Tech. I also had a good shot at a post-graduation internship obtained through my research group (was interviewed and they sounded excited for me to join them), so what did I have to fear?

"Sorry, you were the runner-up for the internship position."

Me: "...What now?"

A State of Limbo

Have you ever been in a state of limbo? That was my summer.

You know what is rather interesting? Going from giving 110% to ~0% almost instantly. Having really no pursuit, passion, or motivation. Having no money to do anything. Sitting around your apartment all day just browsing the internet or applying to job positions.

That. Sucks.

At first it was pretty great. "Look at all the time I have to do all of these things I've put off?" That thought lasted about a month. Thankfully we had a vacation around July 4th that was also a helpful distraction, but returning from that vacation sucked though. All my friends were going into grad school or getting awesome jobs, and I was getting turned down left and right for the positions I had applied to. My parents were pushing for me to find anything to help with bills (guys, if you read this, you have no clue how much I thank you for helping me through that period of time), and even local hourly businesses were turning me down.

A few job interviews occurred, but for one reason or another, they didn't go with me. I have never in my life experienced a state of depression, but I think I got pretty close during this time. I was waking up at 2 or 3 every day, constantly tired, and pretty much doing nothing other then applying to jobs and feeling sorry for myself. I knew this state couldn't last forever, but I didn't have the energy do do anything. I was in constant worry about how long my meager savings could last and if I would ever get a job.

Matthew 6:25-34: 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Encouragement

This passage has always been a cornerstone of my life. In college I failed classes, almost flunked out of Georgia Tech, and experienced a lot of difficult situations. No matter what happened though, this passage always seemed to pop up at the best possible time. During my state of limbo, this passage came up again. It was a small, but bright light in this period of my life. It gave me peace and purpose.

Around the time to where my Bible study brought me back to this passage, I had started running again. The summer prior to when this occurred, I had started to run almost daily. It was only a few miles each time, but it was consistent. When school started back, I pretty  much stopped completely due to my school workload, and the fact it was getting colder again. But now I was at it again.

There is peace in running. You go for a designated amount of time and just forget about problems and worries in your life. Back when I swam with Kennesaw State University, we would have practices to where we would just swim at our own pace for the duration of the practice (typically an hour an a half). Some of the most peaceful moments of my life was during those practices. You get in a rhythm and the struggles of whatever sport you are doing just sorta fade and you get to just think and pray. With running it's the same way. Just go out there, run, find your momentum, and just enjoy the peace that comes with it.

This peace and challenge gave me something of a purpose again. Sure, I wasn't training for any races, but I was at least getting out, exercise, and pushing myself again. It was a start.

Shortly after I had started to run again, my friend Ells had convinced me to go join him and and a few other friends at a weekly Bible study at Church of the Apostles called Impact.

I'll tell you guys, it had been years since I was involved in a Bible study group. I'd occasionally attend Passion City Church, but that was the extent of it. It turns out Impact is composed of a pretty amazing group of people who will lift you up and encourage you. Plus they are pretty awesome to hang out with as well.

Side note: if any of you guys read this, I love each and every one of you so much. You have helped me in ways that you couldn't even imagine. You made me feel accepted during a period of my life where rejection was almost a daily occurrence. You have encouraged and lifted me up so much and I couldn't ask for better friends.

About a month into my attending of Impact, they were having their yearly Labor Day retreat. A few of my friends said they were going to go, so sure, I'd attend too! Well shortly after registering for it, my friends had to back out for one thing or another. But you know what? I was going to go anyways. I had been shut in for so long, and I figured I'd be bold and go on a trip to where I'd barely know anyone.

That was one of the best choices I could have ever made. It's amazing what happens when you put yourself out there, in situations that can make you uncomfortable. During this trip I made some really good friends who I now daily interact/confide in.

Initially it was intimidating, but a few of the guys really accepted me and it ended up being a fantastic experience. I am not an outgoing person to say the least, but everyone there was awesome in pulling in a stranger. In retrospect, these guys were being completely themselves, and not just intentionally going out of their way to accept a stranger to the group. That speaks a lot about the character of the Apostles 20-30 group. This event was pretty much a turning point for my life during that time as well.

Shortly after this trip, I had the opportunity to do a few jobs and some people reached out and provided some work for me. On top of this, I was also starting get more involved with my running. There was a 5k race in my hometown that October that I was determined to train up for (oh 5k's, how I miss the day this was what I considered as far). 

Along with this, the Georgia Tech Career Fair occurred in September. It didn't result in any jobs, but it did land me a few interviews which helped a ton. Shortly after the career fair,  I had that race that I'd been training up for. The race ended up being super cold and it was pouring that day (plus I'm pretty sure that was the reason why I was sick the next few weeks), but it was uplifting. It made me want to push myself farther. Since then I've been training significantly and this year looks exciting as it will most likely contain a few half-marathons in my near future (super excited for these). 

Halfway through October, I got a call from a recruiter. Apparently since my resume says "I have experience with Linux", it was good enough for a phone interview with the Georgia Tech Research Institute. Mind you, "experience with Linux"  means: "I have installed it on a laptop and have only barely used it".

This part is truly due to God as there is no other way I can explain what happened:

Phone interview: 

Boss: "So explain what you've done with Linux before?"

Me: "Pretty much, very little."

Afterwards: "Man, there is no way I am getting this position."

Next day
Recruiter: "They loved you! They want to do a sit down interview!"

Me: "What?"

Interview
Interviewers: "Do these things and answer these questions."
Me: *struggles to do half of the things and feels like I did poorly with the questions*

Next day
Recruiter: "They want to hire you!"
Me: "Seriously, is this a joke? What is going on here?!"

In retrospect, I understand why they hired me, but at the time it didn't make any sense. God truly was guiding my life in this situation -- and more then that, He was guiding my life in everything that happened.

Isaiah 58:11:  11 The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Perspective

God knows where you will be going, what needs you have, and what problems will occur. But each and every day is precious, so why waste it? You never know what will occur tomorrow. Who knows? Ultimately He is there with you in everything. He is there walking beside you in even the worst situations and times. He will never leave you. He knows what you will be experiencing, He knows what you will face, and He shares in your suffering. Ultimately, He is in control.

Each day is precious. Every day, the world has spun for 24 hours at massive speeds. The moon orbits around this amazing planet. Both this planet and the mood orbits around at a perfect distance to provide life from the Sun. This orbit is just a small part of a corresponding solar system. This solar system is just a tiny piece of a galaxy that spins around such a massive nucleus, that when compared to the Earth, the Earth pretty much non-existent on how small it becomes. This overall galaxy is just one of trillions upon trillions of galaxies in the known universe. All of this was created by an amazing God.

As majestic as this is, God loves you personally. The creator of such majesty cares specifically for you and your life. The scale of his power and might is uncomprehending. "If it's in His will, God will provide." God will provide for you, provide for your needs, even if it doesn't look like it. Every day of life is a miracle that was God has given you. He has an amazing plan for the World, and this is a plan that will ultimately show His glory to all of creation. But within this plan, you exist, and He cares for you, and in your pain, He weeps with you.

So enjoy today. Really embrace it. Why worry about what is going to happen? Do all you can to worry about the issues of each day, and leave the rest to God.

So, most of all, DO NOT WORRY.

A Curved Flat Piece of Wood that Can be Thrown so as to Return to the Thrower

I have found out in my life that the Lord works in mysterious, and sometimes weird ways. Take MLK day for instance. As a government employee, I had the day off. My friends Chip, Jennifer, Lauren, and I decided "hey, let's go hiking at Kennesaw Mountain on a nice, warm day of 33-35 degrees (with a very nice wind chill on the top of the mountain to throw in there as well). 

Needless to say, at the top of the mountain, it was freezing. But, it did end up being a super fun day. At the end of it, Chip had really wanted to show us how to throw a boomerang at one of the fields there. Needless to say, I think I need some more practice on getting it to work.

We did this in the morning/afternoon, but later that night, I had a BSF, or Bible Study Fellowship meeting.

Let me digress from the story for a minute: BSF is amazing. I've made it a personal goal to try to read (at least) a chapter a day through the Bible every day the last couple of years. My overall goal was to eventually reach a full read through. Let me explain something: There is a significant difference between reading the Bible and understanding the Bible. When you just read it, it's easy to skip over things, and you just get a "rough-outline" of the story. That's why when you read a book, or watch a movie,  the second time you see it you see things that you might have missed your first go-around.

Truly studying the Bible is different. Why is this verse worded in this way? Why is it HIM, Him, or him? What is the significance of these events? How do these verses parallel with these other verses? This is BSF at it's core: A truly in-depth reading of the Bible. Sure, you might not do the "chapter a day" routine that I was doing, but man do you get so much more out of it. So worth doing.

Alright, back to the story.

What really sealed the title of this post is this: the same day Chip got us to throw the boomerang, was the same day we found out the leader of our BSF group was a competitive boomeranger (not sure if this is a word, but I'm going to say it is). The last time I have ever seen, or used, a boomerang has to be over 5 years ago. Then suddenly within the same day, two different instances of boomerangs occurred. But it made me think that it really is a great metaphor for my life right now. I have returned to a better state and have returned back to being part of such an encouraging group of friends who help me in my walk with God. It's a return to striving to be the man that God wanted me to be.

-Ryan Mueller

P..S. I was initially planning on finishing this blog in about a week. It's been a few months. But man, it's nice to finally put what's been happening in my life to words.

"In order to graduate next fall, you need to take chemistry and computer science this summer." These were the words I dreaded. But even still, they were said. My academic advisor just condemned my summer to a summer full of the world of Georgia Tech I've been living in the last few years.

In retrospect (even if it is just going on week 2 at this point), it was a very useful sentence placed upon me. Even though I'll have to miss out on a lot of summer activities, my summer isn't wont for boredom due to the assignments due. So far, for example, I've actually enjoyed the work I've done in my CS class. Chemistry? Well, I could do without that necessary evil.

Now, this might seem like a "woe is me" type of post, but it's far from. In fact, it's more of an encouragement. Even though it can be annoying, tests are hard, and it's constant school, It's a blessing I get to be able to take these courses, and if you truly want to succeed in life, sacrifices have to be made. But in the long run, what's 8 weeks out of your life if it saves you a semester that takes up 4 months? Not a bad trade-off in my opinion.

But so far, it hasn't been too bad, grades have been good, and I am optimistic. I only pray my persistence pays off this time, and I don't burn myself out for the tough lineup I have for this upcoming Fall semester. I learned my lesson on how you can truly hurt yourself (even if you try to make that not happen... Life happens, you move on), and just deal with the pain involved. After that, you suck it up, and try again where you failed before. I just don't want a repeat on that pain in ANY of my endeavors for my future.

I guess I just wanted to get some thoughts out there. Ultimately, this post is about priorities. If you want to succeed, if you've failed, keep pushing on. That's all that it takes. A little time in your life is nothing compared to the fullness of a persons life. Suck it up, deal with it, push on.

"I want to write a fantasy book! It will have magic in it!"

These are words that haunt me now. Why is this so? Because magic. SCREW magic (well, not really). It's awesome some of the things you can do with it, but it can be painfully annoying to flesh out the rules of magic systems. Why you say? Because balance. Everything must have balance. Let me explain...

Say you have a magic system where heat is your main source of energy (oh wait! that's VERY similar to what I am coming up with! But not fully). Well, you can say that you can get heat from basically anywhere. But to really throw things for a loop, why doesn't the magician just look up at the sun, and draw his powers from that?

Well, this is where balance comes in to play. Having a magician gain basically unlimited power from the sun (as described beforehand) causes a few issues.

1. The magician has a basically unlimited source of power.
2. The magician is instantly overpowered, causing for cheap writing.
3. There is no air of mystery to how the magic system works.

There are a lot of other problems involved with this, but these are some of the primary problems you face. It seems like with every brilliant idea on how things interact, instantly 50,000 problems arise that lead to overpowered magicians, cheap loopholes, etc. As a writer, one must KILL any, and all of these loopholes so the reader later on doesn't have the thought "well, why didn't the magician just do this or that to get around those issues?"

One of the things I have learned in life (and this applies to myself), is when you are writing fantasy, you get die-hard geeks who read these books. These geeks are from every walk in life. As such, typically, these die-hard fans DISSECT EVERYTHING. Thus, this entire idea of balance becomes almost as important as the story itself (as half the story is the main character's development or interaction with these magic systems). In some ways it feels as if I am programming a video game. One character in the game might have some awesome ability, but unless if you want the game to be lopsided, you want it to be balanced, so you give the other characters certain abilities to counteract this one character. This is my problem.

But, as much as I say this problem sucks (and as an over-analyzer, it truly annoys me how much I think of loopholes), it's also fun because it means that what I come with, I can truly write a fascinating story with some great interactions. So, balance then becomes a necessary evil.

On a side note, there might be the possibility that I'll be having two more people work on this project. More information will soon be posted regarding that.

Until next time!
-Ryan

I love fantasy. It is probably one of my favorite book and television genres. If I get a book with a fantastic story and a really good magic system, it is absolutely amazing. I can barely set it down. Some of my favorite books range from Eragon, Name of the Wind, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Way of Kings, etc. These are all fantastic books and when I am reading them, I can barely put them down.

The best thing about all of this is that most of my friends like the exact same genre/series. My friend Cassidy is even going so far to write a book with her brother Blake. Seeing her take the initiative to start to write about what she loves, inspired me to finally get started on something I've been wanting to write about for a while.

The book that I am wanting to try to write over the summer (and probably the rest of the year) is inspired by a bunch of different sources. First off, it is loosely based off of the history of the United States.

Quick summary:
The story is set in a land that has developed weapons such as guns, cannons, steamships, etc., but still retains slavery. The government forces slavery upon the land of New Prospects because it wants to maintain its control over a certain group of people. The thing is, these people (name yet to be decided... Naming is HARD, especially when you are trying to come up for names for all the characters you want in the book), have the ability to use magic. But the information is suppressed by a very few as it took thousands of full moons to repress the information (in this world, a full moon occurs once every 50 days, and the dates are based upon the passage of a full moon. So a comparison would be that we keep track of the days by the time system based upon a year, they keep track of time based upon a full moon. So a "year" for them is 50 days, or full moon to full moon).

A very small group of people within these slaves is a group of natural magicians. They know what they can do, and they can do it easily. But they can't say anything because if they were to speak out, the slaves have been repressed so far that a. they wouldn't believe them, and b. they would be put to death.

But on the Continent of New Prospects, the cities along the Southern Ocean hate the way the slaves are being treated, and because of this, southerners who support the freedom of slavery are commonly referred to as the Empathist. A small group called the Gernium have been attacking trade routes, army groups, and forts in the north, and the Capitol is starting to get hostile towards the actions of the Gernium. Due to the nature of the south supporting the freedom of slavery, the Capitol sees the entire southern region a threat, and if the Gernium continue their attacks (which are increasing in escalation), it will declare Marshall law of the south, send it's armies in to punish whoever stands for the slaves.

Through a series of events, war breaks out between the North and the South, and it is similar to the Civil War of the United States. But the twist is, the group of magicians end up fighting for the south, so a quick summary of the story is the Civil War with magic.

Now mind you, the map I posted, and the a lot of the story is still in the idea phase, and it needs to be fleshed out so I can truly start writing it, but still, it's an exciting project to have during the summer.

I'll try to post the updates to my work here, and who knows where this new, exciting world I am building will lead?

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore